What if the grown-ups had their own Pinewood Derby?

Pinewood Derby Race: 2010 — At one point in the middle of my son’s Pinewood Derby, I realized that those stinkin’ Henderson twins were racing cars built solely by their dad, “Annoying” Ned Henderson.  It was almost hilarious!  We’re talking super-speed axles, the weighted undersides, the Earl Scheib paint jobs.  What was to be a Cub Scout activity had become a parent’s race…  I thought, “One of these days, I’ll show that Henderson!

Then I had a revelation…

What if the parents had their own Pinewood Derby races?  And what if we threw out all the rules and took this absurd contest to its illogical conclusion!  I’m talkin’ secret engines, rocket-powered freak racers, dirty tricks and designed inspired by James Bond and Mythbusters.  Let’s give the parents their own “play area” and let the kids do their own thing!

You in?

Welcome to DerbyMonster.com, one man’s attempt to create the most insane Pinewood Derby for the rest of us.  We dare you to build the most dastardly, cheat-ridden racer and then send us pictures with descriptions.  If the car can pass Cub Scout rules and regulations, we don’t wanna see it.  We’re looking for Pinewood Derby cars from the other side of the tracks.

Here’s the deal:  Start with a standard Cub Scouts Pinewood Derby kit and then go crazy.  Build the car that would beat all others, no matter what.  Gunpowder?  Sure!  Internal engines (rubber band, battery operated, whatever) are legal.  Devices that slow down, mess up or totally destroy the competition are encouraged as well.

Send your pictures and descriptions to dd@derbymonster.com and the best submissions will be added to the site.  Who knows, maybe we’ll all get together for a few beers and actually battle it out with these suckers someday!

Stay weird, my friends.

-Diabolical Dave

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2 Responses to What if the grown-ups had their own Pinewood Derby?

  1. Fightin' Friction says:

    Sounds cool…let’s see what we can build for this contest.